It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
