Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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