I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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