a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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