I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
