he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
