is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
