She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
