Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
