I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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