I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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