Christians are straight up FREAKS
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
