tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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