Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
