Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
