I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
