brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
