i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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