Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
