I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
