Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
