therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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