My liver just broke up with me...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
