i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i out mim tonsoeep
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
