There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
