Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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