he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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