i jhust puked up my retainher.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
4 words: hood of his car
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
