used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
