Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
