I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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