home. puking in laundry basket.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
