If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
