The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
