i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
