I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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