you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
