We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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