ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
