All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
