RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
