My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
