You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
