my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
