Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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