it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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