i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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