I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
