i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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