I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
