nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
